It’s hard enough to make local relationships work, but having miles, States, and sometimes even an ocean between you makes it even more difficult. However, successful long distance relationships can and do exist. Here’s how to give yours every chance to survive and thrive.

STEPS:

1. Ask the important questions at the onset, to make sure you are both clear on the parameters of the relationship. These can be difficult and awkward questions to ask, but will save you great heartache and misunderstanding down the line. Example: “Are you open to the possibility of relocating if the relationship should become more serious?”
2. Communicate in some way every day, more than once if possible. Since you won’t be seeing each other, it’s important to establish and maintain an emotional connection. These don’t have to be long, in-depth conversations (though those should occur sometimes). Tell each other about your little triumphs and tragedies. Ask for advice. Use an instant messenger program or VoIP for real-time chat, or web cams for that visual connection, but while instant messaging and e-mails play a large role in long distance relationships, remember that they can in no way replace verbal communication. E-mail is great so make sure you use it, especially if long-distance phone calls put a strain on your budget.(Even though phone calls might get a little too expensive, there are special cards if you are to call each other from different countries, there will be no problems with costs since it is very cheap. We highly recommend you get one of those cards, it will be a lot cheaper and from experience E-mail and instant messages makes it easier to misunderstand each other.) Write love letters. Send small gifts or flowers for no reason. In this case, quantity is as important as quality. You may discover an advantage over others whose partner is close at hand - you don’t take communication for granted!
3. Take advantage of the benefits a long distance relationship offers: more time with friends and/or family, no arguments over toothpaste caps, the pleasure of seeing your sweetheart again after a long absence, time to mull your options (rather than snapping at your partner impulsively) before you respond to that email s/he wrote that seemed so rude the first time you read it, etc. Most important, being far apart gives you a chance to maintain your individuality - something that can get lost in the shuffle when couples spend all their free time together.
4. Pursue common interests, even if it means pursuing them apart. If there’s a movie you’re both interested in seeing, watch it individually and then call each other afterward and talk about it. Read a certain book at the same time. Stargaze while on you’re on the phone. Set your watches to go off at the same time every day, and synchronize your alarm with that of your partner. Make it a point to think of each other when your watch goes off, and revel in the fact that he or she is thinking about you, too. Find creative ways to bond.
5. Avoid the temptation to be controlling. People have free will and no one can or should control another person. As long as you are both interested in being in the relationship, you will stick with it and distance will not make a difference. As soon as one of you decides the other is not a good match - or someone else is a better match - your relationship ends, whether you live 3000 miles apart, two streets over, or share the same bed with your wedding picture on the wall. You are going to have to trust each other completely if this relationship is going to work.
6. Talk about your future together. Assuming that ultimately you’d want to live together, discussing how you’re going to get to that point will help you prove to each other that the relationship is going somewhere and that your efforts and frustrations are not in vain.
7. Know when to say good-bye. While this is tough in any relationship, this can be especially hard over long distances. When communication becomes one-sided or sparse for too long and for no apparent reason, when arguments (yes, you’ll have them) become too frequent, when the whole thing just seems like more trouble than it’s worth, it’s time to re-evaluate the relationship. Either you’ll decide to go your separate ways, or you’ll get closer for having overcome another obstacle to your happiness together.
8. Remember things will get better with time, and even the relationship will become better. Have hope.

TIPS:

• A long distance relationship is no different from a proximal relationship in that they both require a great deal of work, excellent communication, patience, sacrifice and understanding. But you will have to work extra hard to maintain the communication and to stay focused enough to not let your daily life interfere with your desire to be with the other person. Don’t forget them or you can forget the relationship and it will all be over.
• One of the hardest parts of a long distance relationship is connecting when one person gets busier than the other. If this happens in a relationship it is important to maintain communication. If you are the busy person, try to warn your partner ahead of time that you will be working many hours and may have limited time. If you are the not-as-busy person, take advantage of the time by picking up a new hobby, getting in shape, reading a new book, etc. Flexibility is very important.
• It helps to have a solid time in the future for when the long distance part of the relationship will end, no matter the time length. Without it, the relationship can begin to mold into something that is always distant - even with great communication. With it, each person can see the point at which the distance will end and work harder to keep emotions readily available.
• When talking to your partner, take note of things they enjoy the most (hobbies, day-to-day activities, etc.), and do a little research on it so you have more to do when you see them next. For example: If your partner likes to dance, find the location of different clubs where you will see them next. If you don’t know how to dance, take lessons and you will impress them by your willingness to make an effort on their behalf.
• Buy a game that you can play together over the internet, such as a MMORPG (massively multi-player online role playing game). You will be able to chat while playing and it will give a greater feeling of togetherness.
• Mail each other scented clothes.
• Send each other spontaneous ecards.
• Make a creative countdown and mail it to your partner to enjoy until you see each other next. For example, create a photo calendar, with something you add for each day to describe what you love about them.
• Do not set unreasonable expectations for your visit. Fantasizing about the visit is fine, but not out loud or by email to your partner. Instead, enjoy the excitement of the surprises to come.
• The Long Distance Relationship Guidebook is a well-balanced, practical book for couples in long distance relationships who need some guidance.
• Buy a webcam so you can chat face to face and see each other, so when you meet you will remember what they look like.
• Consider the fact that living far apart gives you both a chance to grow as individuals. Some couples break up to “find themselves”, but in a long distance relationship you both have enough space to do your own things and still have a connection.

WARNINGS:

• Remember, every kind of relationship takes hard work and dedication to your loved one or partner, whether it’s long distance or proximal. If you and your partner are willing to take these steps, then expect bumps and turns in the road. These bumps and turns will only help contribute towards a relationship.
• Long distance relationships are not for the faint of heart. They can be very trying - but so can proximal relationships.
• Long distance relationships can and will test you and your partner; you need to trust him/her entirely as paranoia can play a major part in the demise of your relationship. Also, these kinds of relationships can bring a lot of disappointment and heartache–depending on the time you spend away from each other it is VERY important that if you want this relationship to work you must make a great effort not to drift apart.
• Long distance relationships are difficult, as you are emotionally attached to a person you cannot touch or comfort (hug, kiss, hold hands), and this can hurt your heart and wreak havoc with your emotions. The only way to make these relationships work is if you and your partner honestly believe you will be able to survive without each other for a considerable amount of time without the need or desire to be with someone else.

Source: WikiHow.Com

Throughout our experience working with long distance relationship couples, we had discovered that there are lots of thing that we must do and as well as refrain from doing in order to survive the relationship. Below are some of the advices that we have compiled over the years. Although they may look simple but when it comes to the actual execution, it may take more than your effort and discipline. It is your desire to survive the relationship that makes the most impact in writing the outcome of your distance relationship. Consider some of the below do and don’t list and together with your desire, I am pretty sure you are able to conquer your distance relationship with ease and fun.

Do’s

1) Establish an effective communication channel

The very first thing that you must do in a long distance relationship is to establish an effective communication channel. Most people will think that telephone is the most convenient mode of communication but apart from the telephone services, there are some other alternative you can use. Instant messenger, emails, VOIP phone and conventional mails can be very effective if you know how to use them. Each of the communication channels has its own advantages and disadvantages and therefore you must start to explore each of them to enhance your communication experience.

2) Plan to meet each other

There is nothing more important than planning to meet each other again at an interval of time throughout the period of your long distance relationship. This will help both you and your partner to catch up with each other over the things that you cannot do while apart. The anticipation of seeing each other again will always give you the excitement, hope and as well as eliminating the lonely feeling in your LDR.

3) Build hobby that you can both share

By building and keeping a hobby, both of you will have something to discuss and work on throughout your distance relationship. Finding something to do online can be quite interesting judging from its speed and reach ability but never leave out conventional hobby as well because you do not need to have your partner’s physical present to share a hobby.

4) Surprise your partner

Occasionally surprise you partner with cards, gifts, letter and flower out of their expectation apart from your normal correspondence. Put your imagination to use and your partner will be sure to love your effort in keeping them happy. Sending the unexpected gifts to your partner will always spice up your distance relationship regardless how far your partner may be.

5) Capture and share that interesting moment

Throughout the period of your LDR, you can always capture some interesting moment of yours by exchanging photos, video clips and as well as audio recording. This will indirectly keep your partner informed on what has happen in your life despite the physical distance.

Don’ts

1) Settle for a temporary replacement

One of the mistakes that a distance relationship couple often make is to settle for a temporary replacement when their partner is not physical around. By letting a third party into your life, you will not only put your distance relationship to risk but you will also break the mutual trust and agreement that you make. Although it may not be done intentionally but this type of mistake will be very costly to your long distance relationship.

2) Take the relationship lightly

The absence of your partner does not give you the license to dictate and manipulate the relationship. You must remember that, your partner has their own right to participate in any decision making toward the well being of your relationship regardless where there are. A long distance relationship is also as important as a normal relationship and your partner has their own right to be treated fairly.

3) Wait and see attitude

Most of the failures in distance relationship that we observed are contributed by the wait and see attitude of the couples themselves. This was caused by the insecurity of the couple as they do not think that the LDR will work but at the same time they do not want to put a stop to the relationship. Let me tell you this, if you plan to have this kind of attitude, refrain from walking into one at the first place because both you and your partner will suffer in the relationship. In a LDR, both partners must be committed and proactive in bringing the relationship to a higher level.

4) Suspicion

There are no rooms for suspicion in a long distance relationship. In order for you to survive your distance relationship, you must learn to trust your partner whole heartedly. A single suspicion will break the bond you have for each other and it is a beginning of the end if you start to suspect your partner at any point of your LDR. Although it is easier said than done but trust me, if your partner is apt to do something unfaithful to you, they will still do it under your nose. Therefore there is no need for you to create such unnecessary stress in your LDR.

5) Succumb to negative comment on LDR

Couples in distance relationship always make a mistake by believing that LDR do not work. The negative impression you have in LDR will eventually hunt you down and destroy your relationship if you choose to listen to the negative comment. Therefore, once you have decided to enter into a long distance relationship, you must learn to believe that your relationship will work. I knew it because I had successfully conquered my own distance relationship due to the reason that I am not influence by any of the bad comments I received.

Source: EzineArticles.Com

The sun is shining for you, the birds are singing, there’s a spring in your step, and you’ve suddenly become one of those people who hums. You’re in love. Life is good except for one small problem. Your sweetie is hundreds or perhaps thousands of miles away. It’s a geographic dilemma. And as exciting as the whirlwind weekends of romance are, the two of you are beginning to think about how nice it would be to share all of the little things that people in the same area code take for granted, like spontaneity and casual time. Should you relocate for love? Moving means a major upheaval of your life, but the long-distance thing is expensive, frustrating, and ultimately limiting the depth of your relationship. Here are some issues to ponder when you’re considering relocating:

What kind of life do you imagine for yourself in the new area? 

You may have found Prince or Princess Charming, but how do you feel about the kingdom? Is this some place that you can envision yourself living out the rest of your days? How do you feel about the quality of life? Take into account the weather, cost of living, access to cultural events, proximity to wilderness, etc.

How do you plan to set up a support system in the new place? 

Do you have job prospects there? What about friends or family? Moving is emotionally stressful. You will be parting with people, places, and things that are important to you. How comfortable are you with getting to know new people? You and your companion will need to get used to being together, and you will also be dealing with all the emotions of becoming accustomed to a new place. Think about what you need to do to keep from feeling isolated and lost.

Will your lifestyle change completely? 

True love is the best thing in the world, but be sure that something appeals to you about moving to your new area beyond one person. Rural life, for example, may be perfect for your mate, but if you’re an urbanite, how long will it keep you happy? Are you excited about living there? Will line dancing in Dallas do it for you when you’re used to theatre in New York, or vice versa? Think about how you’ll adapt to the local culture and how much of a lifestyle change you’re willing to make. If you can’t think of a few ways to spend your time, think a little harder about whether this is the right step right now. Also, if, god forbid, you and your partner broke up, would the new area have any redeeming qualities for you?

How much time have you previously spent in your new area?

So, you thought northern Alaska was simply stunning when you visited your love there for a week in the summer, but how are you going to feel about the two hours of daylight in January? It is an issue. Find out as much as you can about this possible new home so you can make an informed decision.
* Will you be accessible to old friends and family?
You must set up a new support system of friends in your new area, but old friends and family can never be replaced. Think about how you’ll manage keeping in touch. Consider the financial burden if you’ll be moving far away from most of the people you know and love. This is especially important if you’re planning to start a family in this new place. Are you prepared to get Mom’s advice over the phone?

How are you going to say goodbye?

For many people, a home town is a big part of your identity. All of the people and activities that make it special to you also make it hard to leave. Relocating means closing a chapter of your life and starting a new one, and your friends and colleagues may not be all that supportive of your decision. How you will respond to adverse reactions? Make a list for yourself of all the pros and cons about moving. It will help you in explaining how you feel. Your best friends just want you to be happy.

How should you close up your life in the town you’re leaving?

Moving is a major life change which gives you the freedom and the opportunity to re-evaluate how your life is structured and what’s important to you. Take advantage of this contemplative time. If you decide that relocating is what you want to do, tie up your loose ends in your old home. Do the things that you always meant to do there and say all of the things that you’d always planned on saying someday. Keep what you value, but get rid of your dead weight and move on.

The magnetic pull between two people who are absolutely right for each other can push many obstacles out of the way. Relocating is a big decision, and it will inevitably be stressful, but sometimes you’ve just gotta listen to your heart. Packing up your singlehood and your current way of life is both scary and exciting, but if your partner is patient, understanding, and willing to compromise, you’ll have the best companion possible to help you get through it. The two of you can unpack boxes, transfer bills, explore the sights, and hum through it all together. And that’s the best very part.

Source: RomanceStuck.Com

Why in the world do you need to read a book on marriage? You get the jist of it, right? When you have your first child, you read all the baby books you can. You look up all kind of information online. You talk to your doctor. You get advice from anyone that has ever had a child. Why? Because you’re stepping into a new realm, and you may know some stuff, but you don’t know everything and you want to do it right? So why don’t we do the same with marriage? Why do we tend to think we know it all? Why are we so resistant to the idea of premarital counseling? Men are especially bad at thinking they dont need any kind of advice in marriage. They think that everything is fine. But the numbers don’t lie. If 50% of marriages end in divorce, then we obviously aren’t doing something right. We need some kind of model to base our marriage on.

ABSOLUTE unselfishness - This is the biggest, most important, most hugest thing in a marriage. The definition of love in it’s purest form, is ABSOLUTE unselfishness. Unselfishness is love in action. It’s putting yourself last, in everything. If you had two married people, that were both completely unselfish, then everything would work itself out. The rest would just be details. You have to be willing to go more then half way on compromises. You have to be willing to do anything, go anywhere, and give up everything for that person. Doesn’t mean you have to, but you must be willing to if needed.

Communication - Communication is crucial in any relationship. We need to realize that we can’t read minds, and other people can’t read our mind. If we don’t tell people how we feel or what we’re thinking, we can’t expect them to know. We can prevent so many problems, fights, and issues with proper communication. Many times arguments are misunderstandings that result in a lack of knowledge. Communication is usually a good indicator of how a relationship is going. If there is good communication in a relationship, then chances are, the relationship is healthy. If there is little or no communication, then the relationship isn’t doing very well.

True forgiveness - Forgiveness is an important character trait to learn in life. By now you have learned that no one is perfect. We all have flaws and we all make mistakes. Chances are, there are going to be many people in life who let us down, hurt us, and do something that isn’t right. This doesn’t mean we need to expect everyone that we come in contact with to hurt us, but we need to realize that it does happen. We need to learn to forgive people. We are so quick to want someone to forgive us when we do something, yet when they do something to us, we won’t even think of forgiving them. Chances are, we will hurt and let a lot of people down in our lifetime as well. We need to be willing to truly forgive people when they make a mistake. If we don’t then we are carrying around a lot of excess baggage that we don’t need to. You can’t be in a healthy relationship if there is unforgiveness. And you might not forget what the person does, but if you truly forgive them, it doesn’t matter, and you’ve let it go.

Sense of humor - We need to realize that you only have one life, and life is short so we need to have fun. We need to loosen up a bit and not be so serious and uptight all the time. You should be able to have fun with your spouse, be goofy, and just enjoy the time you spend together. You should be able to tease and play with them in a joking manner. Laughing and having a sense of humor can cure a lot.

Hard work - Being married can be hard work in the beginning. You have to make serious adjustments, make big compromises, and really let a lot of things go as the two of you form into one entity. But the hard work you put in, and the sacrifices you make, can lead to a lifetime of joy.

Source: Does True Love Exist?

What is true love? Does it really exist, or is it it just some cliche’ that really doesn’t have a lot of meaning. Love means a variety of different things depending on who you ask. If you ask someone who’s been hurt a lot, or gone through relationship problems, their answer would probably be no. But if you ask a couple who has been married for 20 years, their answer would probably be yes. True love is one of those things that’s very hard to define. You can see examples of it, but to describe it is a lot harder. It’s a lot easier to give examples of what it is, and what it isn’t.

What true love isn’t…
Love isn’t just some words you say to someone. Love isn’t a feeling or emotion. We are creatures of emotion. Our mood and emotions can be affected by the weather, what we eat, what someone says to us, what we see on tv, or any of a million small things. Love is not an emotion, or how you feel about soemone, it’s much much more then that.

What is true love…
Love is an action. You can say I love you to someone all you want, but if there is no action behind it, then it is meaningless. Love is a commitment. It is saying I will be there for you no matter what. It’s not saying “I DO, until something better comes along, or until I no longer feel like it.” It’s a commitment that lasts forever, through thick or thin. There is never a plan B, or “what if.” True love endures through any and every circumstance. It’s you willing to give up your life for them. Whether that means by taking a bullet, or by the small things in your daily life, such as giving up something that displeases them. True Love is a life decision, a daily decision, a secondly decision. It is putting them first in everything. True love is a two way street, where both parties meet more then halfway to solve a problem. True love is being patient in everything. It is being unselfish in everything you do. True love keeps no record of being wronged. It is forgiveness. True love never gives up. True love is more then words, more then an action, more then a lifestyle. True Love is LIFE.

Source: Does True Love Exist?

What is this thing called love?
This magic thing called love?
I ask the Lord in heaven above
What is this thing called love?
- Pop song from the 40’s -  

Since love has been the topic of countless articles, books, discussions, and sleepless nights, I might as well explain how I got interested. I have long been addicted to popular songs, especially love songs. They play in my head, usually uninvited, and often at odd hours, living me reeling with emotion. But often, I hear the question again and again, from a disillusioned generation- ‘does true love really exist’?

Well, this is not surprising some of the affairs we witness in our society today are most often than not based directly/or indirectly on physical appearances and/or sexual attraction, and have lacked that strong feeling called love; which comprises yearning for each other, sharing, laughing together and being life companions of each other, forever being friends.

These are some of the attributes missing in some of our marriages today. I think in most cases what we have in our societies, is the husband and wife caught in the trap of “farz” and marriage is needed to be socially acceptable and they basically just get fed up of each other within first 2-3 years. After that its just same old life and its responsibilities and of course, the daily capsule of sex.

The relationship that I believe we should be fostering in our lives and marriages is “friendship”- understanding, sharing, and laughing.

I think true love can exists between couples when they decide to be mature in heart.

However, today, what you find is that most of the couples come to know they are in love only when they start missing each other, like if one of them goes out of station for a year and they wept for one another (a nice proof to their minds that they are in love) and they think it just “happened” to them-they never knew it before. That is not love, that is just missing and after a while you will be fine with that. If it were love, it should exist for all time.

Again, some couples just start pretending to themselves that they are in love or like modify some other feeling(s) as love. I have seen this in many affairs. I think there are a lot of other feelings which seem to be close to love but they are not, just misspelled as “love” .

And above all, if a “pure” thing as true love is to exist, then first it has to be far far away from sexual attraction/physical appearance and second it has to be “forever”.

In the end, TRUE LOVE can exist between couples — but it is rare! True love is based on sacrifice, where you totally give, 100% to the beloved, and expect nothing in return.

Great saints have come to this world with true love, and are usually misunderstood because they love everyone! They see the good in everyone!

The best way to express TRUE LOVE is to try to be selfless and kind, and first of all love God and then hope to love God’s creation as well. God loves all His creations, which is obvious, because God breathes in all of us all the time, until death when we return home to God. As for the typical human relationships, mostly they are based on attachment, lust, or social convenience. But if two people make every effort to live as the tenets of God would want us to live, and marry consciously with the aspiration to blend our souls into one, and to serve and support each other, I believe that will grow into TRUE LOVE.

Source: American Chronicle

Does true love really exist? You know, the kismet kind. The kind that envelopes two spirits before they’ve even met; the kind Shakespeare must have been writing about in Romeo and Juliet; the kind that makes you give up everything familiar, moral, safe, to walk in the direction of destiny.Though true love appears to be an under-researched topic, Dr. Dennis Neder, an ordained minister and doctor of metaphysics, does advise love has three phases: the infatuation stage, the bonding stage and the familiar stage. He says it helps to consider all three phases when trying to figure out whether or not it’s the real thing.

But, if it’s true love, does it warrant dissecting and breaking down into stages? Do you have to consider anything at all; or, is it just “so”?

One Discovery.com author wrote there are

NINE WAYS to tell if the love you have for your partner is the real thing:

1. You feel good.
2. You look forward to spending time with your partner.
3. You respect your partner.
4. You’re interested in what your partner thinks.
5. You accept your partner’s quirks.
6. You’re able to work through your problems.
7. You feel safe. (You’re not afraid of losing your partner.)
8. You can’t explain why you’re together.
9. You don’t compare your partner to others.

Source: Mr. Good Man

So does true love really exist? Or is it just the name our society has put on the way we feel when we are strongly attracted towards someone? Is true love known to last forever? Can we fall in love more than once? Read on to find out the answer to all these questions and the facts and myths about true love.

A MARRIAGE PROPOSAL is something which should come only once in a lifetime. But even if it happens more than once, it is still a monumental occasion. Women dream their entire life about what their proposal would be like, they can paint a picture of what it would be like to the smallest detail. Because of this, a woman who gets a boring or mundane is gravely disappointed.

Any woman who is proposed to by the man she loves is naturally happy, yet, according to surveys, over 80% of women reported that their proposal was far from exciting and that they were disappointed (It is nice to note that many men were proposed to as well, and reported similar emotions). It is also known that often the nature of the proposal influences the response you get. In simple english: if your proposal is original and exciting, you’re more likely to receive a positive answer on the spot.

Why is it important to make your PROPOSAL a great one?

If you don’t want to let your love down, if you don’t want her to be disappointed, if you want that she’ll remember your proposal for the rest of her life, you have to make your proposal special. Furthermore, a great proposal reduces the chance that your life will develop cold feet during your ENGAGEMENT PERIOD.

A PROPOSAL marks the beginning of a new stage in your life as a couple. You have to make sure that it serves as the most beautiful prologue to your MARRIAGE.

Source: EzineArticles.Com