(Part III)

James 4:4-17

How can we live lives that are free from spiritual adultery? Like a wise and loving counselor helping an unfaithful spouse put his marriage back together, James supplies us with the steps we need to take.

Realize the extent of God’s grace (vs 6). No matter how far away from him we have strayed, he is so loving that he is always willing to take us back and rebuild the relationship. And he is well able to supply us with the resources to live faithfully to him in the world. This is an amazing feature of God’s grace (PRODIGAL SON).

James explains how to experience this grace in vs 7-10. He gives us three specific steps to take and promises a different aspect of God’s grace in response to each step. Let’s look at them in reverse order.

Acknowledge your betrayal and turn from it (vs 8b-10). There can be no real reconciliation in a marriage which has experienced adultery unless the adulterer confesses, takes responsibility, asks for forgiveness, and clearly turns away from the adulterous relationship (WHY I COUNSEL ADULTERERS TO CONFESS).

WHAT IS INVOLVED IN THIS: Alone before God, we must acknowledge to him our unfaithfulness specifically and without rationalizing. We should call it what it is—spiritual adultery—and cast ourselves on his mercy. Depending on the degree and duration of your betrayal, there may be strong feelings of sorrow and shame as we realize that the very things we were excited about and relished were in fact betrayals of our true lover (vs 9). We will usually see clearly what it means to terminate the immoral relationship and how to do it (vs 8b).

THE GRACE GOD GIVES IN RESPONSE: “He will exalt you.” What an amazing statement! Not “he will let you stay because he has to”—God will lift you up and show you off as his prized possession! He will flood your heart with assurance of his forgiveness and delight in his commitment to you. That’s a lot of grace!!

But this is not enough. Unless you replace your involvement with the kosmos with real involvement with God, you will be drawn back into it (VACUUM). That’s why James gives us two additional steps . . .

Initiate relational intimacy with God (vs 8a). To restore a marriage after adultery, there must not only be sincere repentance and forgiveness. The unfaithful one must also choose to believe he has been forgiven and resume personal intimacy in the relationship—sharing your thoughts, showing affection, expressing interest in her interests, etc.

WHAT IS INVOLVED IN THIS: Unlike many marriages, God never became distant from us, got too busy for us, etc. It is always we who wander away from him relationally and then get attracted to the kosmos, and so it is always we who must return to him (FEELING DISTANT FROM GOD? GUESS WHO MOVED?). As Oswald Sanders put it, “You are as close to God right now as you habitually choose (not desire) to be.” In spite of feelings of shame or aversion, we need to choose to draw near to God to thank him for his mercy, pour our hearts out to him and to listen to him.

(NOTE: Of course, maintaining relational intimacy is the best ways to prevent adultery in the first place. Adultery is almost always preceded by allowing personal intimacy to deteriorate. I am least likely to be romantically attracted to another person when I am regularly initiating with and investing in and enjoying my spouse.)

THE GRACE GOD GIVES IN RESPONSE: “He will draw near to you.” Without one word of reproach, without any desire to “rub our noses in it,” God responds with sharing himself with us and showing his love in various ways. This is what he wanted all along, and he is delighted to be able to relate to us in this way again. It is not true that it will take weeks and months before we expect to have this kind of restored relationship with God. Unlike a human spouse, who is finite and sinful and who therefore takes time to regain his trust, God knows our hearts perfectly and therefore responds immediately to our repentance.

Get involved in the battle as God’s servant (vs 7). We are called not only to receive God’s forgiveness and to know God in personal intimacy; we are also called to serve him in battle. Both of these imperatives are military terms. “Submit” is not passive (“I give up”); it means to actively seek God’s direction for my role in his service and then go to it whole-heartedly. “Resist” means to refuse to be distracted from this service, no matter how intimidating or enticing the distraction (read 2 Timothy 2:2-3). God has a role for each of us to play in communicating his love and truth to those who don’t know him, and in building up fellow-Christians so that they are effective in playing their roles. There is no lasting liberation from spiritual adultery that does not include cultivating a “wartime” lifestyle.

As a church, one of our main purposes is to facilitate you to fight in this battle. That’s why we have Grounding Groups and Ministry Teams. We aren’t “playing church”—we are equipping and deploying an army for war!

THE GRACE GOD GIVES IN RESPONSE: “He will flee from you.” Satan’s authority over our lives is broken as we submit to God in this way. As long as we walk humbly before God, stay in vital contact with him, and remain at our posts actively serving him, Satan can and will attack us in various ways, but he cannot wreak havoc and destruction in our lives (contra DAVID w/ BATHSHEBA).

Source: “A Study of the Book of James” @ Copyright 1993 Gary DeLashmutt