04.29.09

Nine Lies Men Tell Themselves About Women

Posted in Encouragement, Relationships, Thoughts at 5:17 pm by belovedheart

  

Lie #1: She’s flirting with me because she thinks I’m great.

While it seems innocent and fun, flirting is not a behavior that women who are trying to attract the right kind of man indulge in. Most women who flirt are looking for attention. Why? Likely she either has a poor self-image and she’s searching for positive strokes, or she is desperately looking for approval that she didn’t receive from her father. The trouble is, flirtatious women often have a hard time leaving that trait behind when they get married, and they inappropriately (and dangerously) continue to search for the approval of men long after “I do.” Also, women who need this type of attention can tend to be high maintenance in relationships, always craving more attention.

Lie #2: She doesn’t realize what her revealing clothes are doing to me.

More likely than not, when she bought those clothes she was thinking about how you (and every other man) would drop his jaw when she walked by. While many women don’t realize the extent of men’s visual stimulation (since it’s quite different than women), most know exactly what they are doing to you. It’s called putting you under a spell to get what they want from you. Proverbs calls this a “seductress” with clear warning: “a seductress is a narrow well. She also lies in wait as for a victim, and increases the unfaithful among men.” Proverbs 23:27-28

Lie #3: Her lack of faith won’t pull me down.

Solomon, the wisest man and king who ever lived, fell for this lie. Probably thinking he was smarter than God gave him credit for, he stubbornly ignored God’s warning not to marry the pagan women of other nations because they would turn his heart after their gods. Sure enough, that’s exactly what happened—and it cost him greatly. So if the wisest man who ever lived, the one who had been visited by God himself on

two different occasions and even built God’s temple, wasn’t strong enough to stay devoted to God while going after unbelieving women, how could you be any different?

Lie #4: She’s a little needy but I like to be needed. She’ll settle down once we’re married.

According to studies, men thrive on being needed, but it can end up in trouble. Many women out there are desperate to get married. It’s one thing for her to enjoy being with you and to depend on you occasionally for emotional support, or to help with certain things (like changing her oil or mowing her lawn), but when it comes to emotional neediness, it’s not healthy and it’s not going to get better unless she gets help. She probably has some “holes” that she is expecting you to fill that you never will, no matter how much time, love, or words of encouragement you give her, because you are not the answer to her longings. After the wedding, you will disappoint her because you can’t do or be enough, and she may turn to other things for comfort—food, other men, alcohol, or shopping, to name a few.

Lie #5: If she knew who I really am, she wouldn’t want me.

This fear keeps many men in a cycle of telling women what they want to hear instead of being open and honest about who they really are. This builds the relationship on a lie from the start, and increases the chance of failure later on. It also increases anxiety over exposure and rejection. The woman you are dating needs to know exactly who you are and what kind of person she is agreeing to love. It’s not fair to give her false hope. As an example, going to church with her before you are married with no intention of continuing later is not an honest representation of yourself. If she is the one for you and she is operating under the grace of God, she will love and accept you, warts and all.

Lie #6: She wouldn’t just date me for financial reasons.

Think again. A woman’s greatest need is for security, according to studies. That doesn’t mean that all women are gold diggers, but you have to be aware of motives. There are many financially distraught women thinking that getting married to someone financially stable will solve all of their problems, whether or not the man is right for her. This is unfortunate because the relationship is built on wrong motives, and is likely to be very disappointing.

How can you know for sure? You can’t really. But you can watch for a few factors. Is she a good money manager of her own money? Is she stable financially on her own? Does she hint at expensive tastes out of her budget? Does she focus on her lack of finances? Does she focus on your comfortable lifestyle? If you are concerned, be sure to approach this matter privately with a qualified pre-marriage counselor (like her pastor) for some objective help in discerning her motives. This may sound harsh, but you don’t want to risk marrying a woman who only loves you for your money.

Lie #7: When I marry her, my lust problem will be solved.

This is a normal mistake that many men make, especially ones who are waiting to have sex until marriage. They think, “When I’m able to have sex with my wife, I won’t be tempted by pornography or experience consuming lust because I’ll have an outlet for my sexual energy.” I think all honest married men will tell you that marriage did not solve their lust problem. In some cases, it aggravated it. This is due primarily to the fact that lust isn’t a sex problem. It’s a heart problem. And just like a fire, when you begin to feed it, it gets hotter and hungrier, not satisfied. When a man gets married, he may be even more focused on sex and can still feed his fire (lustful thoughts) with images and fantasies.

Another problem is that many men go into marriage expecting their wife to be a sex goddess—ready at their beck and call for a romp in the hay. How many men have been disappointed to find that marital sex is not as plentiful as they would have hoped. Relationship problems, low sex-drive, busy schedules, interruptions from kids, and physical problems can all be factors. The best thing is to begin starving the fire of lust and it will die down. Get a rein on your thoughts and the things you allow yourself to look at. Flee, as the Bible says, from sexual temptation.

Lie #8: She nags a little, but what woman doesn’t.

Women who nag more than occasionally have a control problem. If you want to be mothered for the rest of your life, then go ahead and accept the challenge. If not, either make sure she deals with her control problem before marriage, or move on until you meet with a more relaxed woman who doesn’t need to micro-manage your life.

Lie #9: Her past is her past—I don’t need to know.

Wrong! Her past becomes your past. You need to dig and discover during the dating relationship to see if there are any big issues lurking in the deep waters beneath the surface. What was her relationship like with her dad? Has she ever been sexually molested or abused? How have men treated her in past relationships? How has she treated men in the past? All of this you need to know now, or you could be shocked and deeply affected later when huge road blocks and past skeletons emerge in her sexual or emotional intimacy.

 

Source:www.JulieFerwerda.com.

04.23.09

Can’t Take My Eyes Off You…

Posted in Love, Songs at 11:26 pm by belovedheart

You’re just too good to be true
Can’t take my eyes off you
You’d be like Heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much
At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I’m alive
You’re just too good to be true
Can’t take my eyes off you

Pardon the way that I stare
There’s nothing else to compare
The sight of you leaves me weak
There are no words left to speak
But if you feel like I feel
Please let me know that it’s real
You’re just too good to be true
Can’t take my eyes off you

I love you baby
And if it’s quite alright
I need you baby
To warm a lonely night
I love yo baby
Trust in me when I say
Oh, pretty baby
Don’t bring me down I pray
Oh, pretty baby
Now that I found you, stay
And let me love you baby
Let me love you

04.20.09

The SEED of ONE LIFE…

Posted in Encouragement, Gospel, Inspirational, Purpose at 5:57 am by belovedheart

“I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me.”
~John 12:24-26~
 
How our LIFE will affect & influence other people’s life
and the world we live in?
 
1) a LIFE of SELF-DENIAL
the SEED must fall to the ground & die
you must hate your life on earth
we must die to SIN & SELF-CENTERED AMBITIONS
and live for God’s PURPOSE…
 
2) a LIFE of SERVICE
invest our life in serving God & other people
it’s not how much you have gotten but how much
you have given that count most….
 
3) a LIFE of SPIRITUAL MULTIPLICATION
but if the seed dies, it produces more seeds
invest your life in discliping & spiritual multiplication
 
SPREAD the GOSPEL…do your PART!
the POWER of ONE LIFE to influence one generation
JESUS is the CENTER of it all….
be IMITATORS of  JESUS CHRIST to live for God…
make your LIFE count….COMMIT your LIFE to GOD!

Never My Love…

Posted in Love, Songs at 5:43 am by belovedheart

You ask me if there’ll come a time
when I grow tired of you;
never my love, never my love.

You wonder if this heart of mine
will lose its desire for you;
never my love, never my love.

What makes you think love will end
when you know that my whole life
depends on you?

You say you fear I’ll change my mind
I won’t require you,
Never my love, never my love.

How can you think love will end
when I’ve asked you to spend your
whole life with me?

When I Met YOU…

Posted in Love, Songs at 5:32 am by belovedheart

by Apo Hiking Society
There I was an empty piece of a shell,
Just mindin’ my own world;
Without even knowin’ what love and life were all about.

Then you came,
You brought me out of the shell;
You gave the world to me
And before I knew,
There I was so in love with you.

You gave me a reason for my being
And I love what I’m feelin’
You gave me a meaning to my life,
Yes, I’ve gone beyond existing
And it all began when I met you.

I love the touch of your hair
And when I look in your eyes
I just know, I know I’m on to something good

And I’m sure my love for you will endure
Your love will light up my world;
And take all my cares away with the aching part of me.

You gave me a reason for my being
And I love what I’m feelin’
You gave me a meaning to my life,
Yes, I’ve gone beyond existing
And it all began when I met you.

You taught me how to love,
You showed me how tomorrow and today
My life is diff’rent from the yesterday;
And you, you taught me how to love
And darling I will always cherish you
Today, tomorrow and forever.

And I’m sure when evening comes around
I know we’ll be making love like never before;
My love, who could ask for more?

You gave me a reason for my being
And I love what I’m feelin’
You gave me a meaning to my life,
Yes, I’ve gone beyond existing
And it all began when I met you.
When I met you.

04.18.09

the PURPOSE of the POWER of God in us…

Posted in Devotional, Holy Spirit, Inspirational, Purpose at 5:21 am by belovedheart

But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be witnesses to Me
in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth. Acts 1:8

The kingdom of God is the divine rule in human hearts, lives and situations. While the disciples were still thinking of the messianic kingdom in terms of political power, Jesus corrected their misconception (Acts 1:7). He declared that the kingdom of God is currently spiritual in character, international in its membership, and gradual in its expansion.

The kingdom of God was a prominent theme in all of Jesus’ teaching in the Gospels. Jesus taught about the kingdom of God through the power of the Holy Spirit (Luke 4:18-19). Here in Acts 1, He was about to transfer that power and responsibility to His disciples by baptizing them in the same Holy Spirit that had anointed His ministry. The disciples were not to attempt ministry without the empowering of the Spirit. Jesus then makes three points about the Holy Spirit:

(1) The Holy Spirit is a Person and He brings with Him a power that will enable you to be a witness.

(2) The Holy Spirit’s power has to be “received”; it is not an automatic experience. As surely as the Holy Spirit dwells within each believer, so surely will He fill and overflow each who receives Him in childlike faith.

(3) When the Holy Spirit fills you, you will know it. Jesus said this and His disciples found it to be true on the Day of Pentecost (Acts 1:5; 2:1-4). You don’t have to claim the Spirit by faith alone. When He comes, you will experience Him in a tangible way. You will know that He has “come upon you.”

Jesus makes it clear that the ultimate purpose of the empowering of the Holy Spirit is so that you can fulfill the Great Commission-by being an effective witness for Christ. You need God’s supernatural power to minister effectively, to heal the sick, cast out demons and work miracles and wonders. But more than that, the Holy Spirit has also come to convince you to go.

As you obey that call to go, He will give you:

(1) the power to find the lost;

(2) the authority to boldly declare Jesus as the Son of God;

(3) the endurance to be strong in times of weakness and suffering; and

(4) the power to establish His Church-locally and worldwide. The intended borders of expansions are clear: Jerusalem (local), Judea (national), Samaria (crosscultural), and “the end of the earth” (global).

Source: Kong Hee “Recieving Power”

a LOVE so free…

Posted in Inspirational, Love, Relationships, Thoughts, True Love at 4:01 am by belovedheart

Love me without fear

Trust me without questioning

Need me without demanding

Want me without restrictions

Accept me without change

Desire me without inhibitions

For a LOVE so free

Will never fly away…

04.14.09

by CHOICE…

Posted in Love, Relationships, Thoughts at 7:58 am by belovedheart

No one falls in love by choice,
it is by CHANCE…
No one stays in love by chance,
it is by WORK…
And no one falls out of love by chance,
it is by CHOICE..

04.13.09

The GREATEST LOVE of all…

Posted in God's Promises, Holy Bible, Jesus Christ, Love, True Love at 5:41 am by belovedheart

 16“For God so LOVED the world that he gave his one and only SON, that whoever BELIEVES in him shall not perish but have ETERNAL LIFE. 17For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. 18Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son.”

~John 3:16-18~

In Christ Alone

Posted in Christian Song, Jesus Christ, Songs at 5:35 am by belovedheart

by Brian Littrell

In Christ alone will I glory
Though I could pride myself in battles won
For I’ve been blessed beyond measure
And by His strength alone I’ll overcome
Oh, I could stop and count successes like diamonds in my hands
But those trophies could not equal to the grace by which I stand

Chorus:
In Christ alone
I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross
In every victory
Let it be said of me
My source of strength
My source of hope
Is Christ alone

In Christ alone do I glory
For only by His grace I am redeemed
For only His tender mercy
Could reach beyond my weakness to my need
And now I seek no greater honor in just to know Him more
And to count my gains but losses to the glory of my Lord

Chorus:

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