It’s hard enough to make local relationships work, but having miles, States, and sometimes even an ocean between you makes it even more difficult. However, successful long distance relationships can and do exist. Here’s how to give yours every chance to survive and thrive.

STEPS:

1. Ask the important questions at the onset, to make sure you are both clear on the parameters of the relationship. These can be difficult and awkward questions to ask, but will save you great heartache and misunderstanding down the line. Example: “Are you open to the possibility of relocating if the relationship should become more serious?”
2. Communicate in some way every day, more than once if possible. Since you won’t be seeing each other, it’s important to establish and maintain an emotional connection. These don’t have to be long, in-depth conversations (though those should occur sometimes). Tell each other about your little triumphs and tragedies. Ask for advice. Use an instant messenger program or VoIP for real-time chat, or web cams for that visual connection, but while instant messaging and e-mails play a large role in long distance relationships, remember that they can in no way replace verbal communication. E-mail is great so make sure you use it, especially if long-distance phone calls put a strain on your budget.(Even though phone calls might get a little too expensive, there are special cards if you are to call each other from different countries, there will be no problems with costs since it is very cheap. We highly recommend you get one of those cards, it will be a lot cheaper and from experience E-mail and instant messages makes it easier to misunderstand each other.) Write love letters. Send small gifts or flowers for no reason. In this case, quantity is as important as quality. You may discover an advantage over others whose partner is close at hand - you don’t take communication for granted!
3. Take advantage of the benefits a long distance relationship offers: more time with friends and/or family, no arguments over toothpaste caps, the pleasure of seeing your sweetheart again after a long absence, time to mull your options (rather than snapping at your partner impulsively) before you respond to that email s/he wrote that seemed so rude the first time you read it, etc. Most important, being far apart gives you a chance to maintain your individuality - something that can get lost in the shuffle when couples spend all their free time together.
4. Pursue common interests, even if it means pursuing them apart. If there’s a movie you’re both interested in seeing, watch it individually and then call each other afterward and talk about it. Read a certain book at the same time. Stargaze while on you’re on the phone. Set your watches to go off at the same time every day, and synchronize your alarm with that of your partner. Make it a point to think of each other when your watch goes off, and revel in the fact that he or she is thinking about you, too. Find creative ways to bond.
5. Avoid the temptation to be controlling. People have free will and no one can or should control another person. As long as you are both interested in being in the relationship, you will stick with it and distance will not make a difference. As soon as one of you decides the other is not a good match - or someone else is a better match - your relationship ends, whether you live 3000 miles apart, two streets over, or share the same bed with your wedding picture on the wall. You are going to have to trust each other completely if this relationship is going to work.
6. Talk about your future together. Assuming that ultimately you’d want to live together, discussing how you’re going to get to that point will help you prove to each other that the relationship is going somewhere and that your efforts and frustrations are not in vain.
7. Know when to say good-bye. While this is tough in any relationship, this can be especially hard over long distances. When communication becomes one-sided or sparse for too long and for no apparent reason, when arguments (yes, you’ll have them) become too frequent, when the whole thing just seems like more trouble than it’s worth, it’s time to re-evaluate the relationship. Either you’ll decide to go your separate ways, or you’ll get closer for having overcome another obstacle to your happiness together.
8. Remember things will get better with time, and even the relationship will become better. Have hope.

TIPS:

• A long distance relationship is no different from a proximal relationship in that they both require a great deal of work, excellent communication, patience, sacrifice and understanding. But you will have to work extra hard to maintain the communication and to stay focused enough to not let your daily life interfere with your desire to be with the other person. Don’t forget them or you can forget the relationship and it will all be over.
• One of the hardest parts of a long distance relationship is connecting when one person gets busier than the other. If this happens in a relationship it is important to maintain communication. If you are the busy person, try to warn your partner ahead of time that you will be working many hours and may have limited time. If you are the not-as-busy person, take advantage of the time by picking up a new hobby, getting in shape, reading a new book, etc. Flexibility is very important.
• It helps to have a solid time in the future for when the long distance part of the relationship will end, no matter the time length. Without it, the relationship can begin to mold into something that is always distant - even with great communication. With it, each person can see the point at which the distance will end and work harder to keep emotions readily available.
• When talking to your partner, take note of things they enjoy the most (hobbies, day-to-day activities, etc.), and do a little research on it so you have more to do when you see them next. For example: If your partner likes to dance, find the location of different clubs where you will see them next. If you don’t know how to dance, take lessons and you will impress them by your willingness to make an effort on their behalf.
• Buy a game that you can play together over the internet, such as a MMORPG (massively multi-player online role playing game). You will be able to chat while playing and it will give a greater feeling of togetherness.
• Mail each other scented clothes.
• Send each other spontaneous ecards.
• Make a creative countdown and mail it to your partner to enjoy until you see each other next. For example, create a photo calendar, with something you add for each day to describe what you love about them.
• Do not set unreasonable expectations for your visit. Fantasizing about the visit is fine, but not out loud or by email to your partner. Instead, enjoy the excitement of the surprises to come.
• The Long Distance Relationship Guidebook is a well-balanced, practical book for couples in long distance relationships who need some guidance.
• Buy a webcam so you can chat face to face and see each other, so when you meet you will remember what they look like.
• Consider the fact that living far apart gives you both a chance to grow as individuals. Some couples break up to “find themselves”, but in a long distance relationship you both have enough space to do your own things and still have a connection.

WARNINGS:

• Remember, every kind of relationship takes hard work and dedication to your loved one or partner, whether it’s long distance or proximal. If you and your partner are willing to take these steps, then expect bumps and turns in the road. These bumps and turns will only help contribute towards a relationship.
• Long distance relationships are not for the faint of heart. They can be very trying - but so can proximal relationships.
• Long distance relationships can and will test you and your partner; you need to trust him/her entirely as paranoia can play a major part in the demise of your relationship. Also, these kinds of relationships can bring a lot of disappointment and heartache–depending on the time you spend away from each other it is VERY important that if you want this relationship to work you must make a great effort not to drift apart.
• Long distance relationships are difficult, as you are emotionally attached to a person you cannot touch or comfort (hug, kiss, hold hands), and this can hurt your heart and wreak havoc with your emotions. The only way to make these relationships work is if you and your partner honestly believe you will be able to survive without each other for a considerable amount of time without the need or desire to be with someone else.

Source: WikiHow.Com

God associates Himself with the poor by taking their plight personally. He promises to repay those who care about the marginalized and show kindness to the poor.

“Blessed is he who considers the poor;
The LORD will deliver him in time of trouble.
The LORD will preserve him and keep him alive,
And he will be blessed on the earth;
You will not deliver him to the will of his enemies.
The LORD will strengthen him on his bed of illness;
You will sustain him on his sickbed.”
~Psalm 41:1-3~

Sheltering a homeless family,befriending a frightened stranger, visiting a despondent prisoner, or feeding a hundry child is a wise investment. The Lord Himslef will repay us, not necessarily with wealth and comfort, but with honor of reflecting His CHARACTER by the SACRIFICE we made on behalf of the poor.

Caring for the POOR is a MANDATE from God…
“And you shall not glean your vineyard,
nor shall you gather every grape of your vineyard;
you shall leave them for the poor and the stranger:
I am the LORD your God. “
~Leviticus 19:10~

Caring for the poor and the stranger (alien), those often left to fend themselves, is a mandate from God punctuated by a thundering “I am the Lord Your God.” To be sure that “the least of these My brethren” were not ignored, God instructed His people not to sweep throught their fields a second time to harvest the maximum crop yield; instead they were to leave what remain for those in need. God’s stated concern that his people care practically for the disadvantaged proveides enlightening insight into His heart.

“And the King will answer and say to them,
‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one
of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.”
~Matthew 25:40~

Defending The RIGHTS of the POOR…
“Open your mouth for the speechless,
In the cause of all who are appointed to die.
Open your mouth, judge rightly,
And plead the cause of the poor and needy.”
~Proverbs 31:8-9~

The work of God’s people in behalf of the poor must be more than the periodic prayer or a check written to a relief agency. God commands us to do as He does by actively defending the rights of the needy, advocating for them, and coming to their aid when we see them oppressed, discriminated against, or mistreated.

“Arise, O God, judge the earth;
For You shall inherit all nations.”
~Psalm 82:8~
 

We must speak up for the marginalized if, because they are poor, they are treated unfairly in the line at the grocery store or at a restaurant. We are God’s ambassadors, acting on His behalf to defend those who are violated.

Our Prayer: Heavenly Father, bless us today to care for the poor and the needy knowing that you love them. Open our eyes to see every opportunity for us to act in Your behalf as Your ambassador of love and kindness to the poor and needy people around us to bring honor and glory to You. In Jesus Name we pray. Amen.

I stumbled upon this wonderful article below entitled “Finding Your Purpose” by Os Hillman in my search for resources about the PURPOSE of LIFE and God has brought new ENLIGHTENMENT. He opened my eyes and allowed me to understand that there is so much more BLESSINGS and BENEFITS of knowing our PURPOSE and living our lives for HIM. It is ALL about HIM! 

I read and re-read the article prayerfully, meditating on the lessons that God is teaching. Then it DAWN on me that some of us go through our very own “JOSEPH PROCESS”.  Just like what the author Rick Warren taught in his book the Purpose-Driven Life that LIFE is a TEST, a TRUST and a TEMPORARY ASSIGNMENT. God is constantly “testing us” everyday, every moment in different areas of our lives to bring out the best in our CHARACTER, become CHRISTLIKE and PREPARE us to the next level of PROMOTION and BLESSINGS that He has for us.

God is teaching us about the “Joseph Process” that His children go through to bring out the CHARACTER of HUMILITY, OBEDIENCE, PURITY and FAITH in us in order to equipped us fully when He brings us to our NEXT SEASONS. When a new season of PROMOTION, POWER and PROSPERITY is coming our way, just like Joseph we will go through the “TESTS of LIFE” and we ought to PASS them all, the sooner the better! Otherwise we will have to retake the tests over and over until we get it right.

I pray that God will bless you with patience as you go over the article below because it is  going to be quite a long read. I pray that as you read the post “Finding Your Purpose” that the Holy Spirit will speak to you and enlighten you. I pray that your heart will be teachable and ready to recieve God’s LESSONS and GUIDANCE. I also pray that you will be obedient to follow the LEADING of our Lord Jesus Christ.

All glory, praises, honor & thanksgiving be unto our Heavenly Father, to Jesus Christ our Savior & to the Holy Spirit!

Meditations on Proverbs…
“28 Like a city whose walls are broken down
is a man who lacks self-control.”
(Proverbs 25:28)

SELF-CONTROL is define as…
the act of denying yourself; controlling your impulses;
the trait of resolutely controlling your own behaviour;
(Word Web Dictionary)

 Self-control is holding back your EMOTIONS…
and a WISE man has self-control & a FOOL lacks self-control…
“11 A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back.”
(Proverbs 29:11)

Self-control is a FRUIT of the Holy Spirit…
“22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. 25Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.”
(Galtians 5:20-26)

Self-control is Holy-Spirit inspired DISCIPLINE…
crucifying our SINFUL NATURE with its PASSION & DESIRES…
“16So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. 17For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want.”
(Galatians 5:16-17)

Our Prayer:
Heavenly Father, thank you so much for your LOVE…thank you for Your Holy Spirit that fill our HEARTS…we pray that the seed of SELF-CONTROL will continue to GROW in our hearts & bear much FRUITS in our lives as we journey together with You. In Jesus Name we pray. Amen.

My Wish
by Rascal Flatts

I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you’re faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin’ till you find the window,
If it’s cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,

But more than anything, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you’re out there getting where you’re getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God’s grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.

But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you’re out there getting where you’re getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

This is my wish
I hope you know somebody loves you
May all your dreams stay big.

How Can I Tell if God is Talking to Me?

Here are some common ways God talks to us:

• His Word
  In order to actually “hear” from God, we have to know some things about God’s character. We have to develop an understanding of who God is, and the way he does things. Fortunately for us, all that information is available in the Bible. The Book goes into a lot of detail about how you can expect God to react, what kinds of expectations he has for us, and most specifically, how he expects us to treat other people. It’s actually a pretty good book, given its age.
• Other People
  Many times God will use other people to try to get through to us. It’s possible for God to use anyone at any time, but I find more messages coming from people who are practicing Christians than non-practicing ones.
• Our Circumstances
  Sometimes the only way God can teach us something is to allow circumstances in our life to lead us to and through the very thing we need to discover. One of my favorite authors, Joyce Meyer, says, “There’s no such thing as a drive-through break-through.”
• The Still Small Voice
  Most of the time God uses a tiny voice inside us to let us know when we’re not on the right path. Some people call it “the voice of peace.” Whenever we’re contemplating something and we don’t have peace about it, it’s a very good idea to stop and carefully look at the options. There’s a reason you don’t feel peace about it.
• The Actual Voice
  Sometimes we’re able to “hear” something in our spirit that sounds to us like an actual audible voice. Or all of a sudden, you just know you heard something. Pay attention to those occasions because it is very likely God trying to tell you something.

When God Talks, Shut Up and Listen

Let me give you an example. A couple years ago I signed up to become a hospital visitor for my church. When I first saw the notice in our church bulletin, I immediately felt that I should respond. But, I let it pass. Over the next couple of weeks, the thought occurred to me off and on so I said to myself, “If I see the notice in the bulletin this coming Sunday, I’ll sign up.”Of course, it was in there. But this time when I saw it, there was no getting away from it. I finally had to say, “Okay, okay God, I’m going!”

So there I was doing hospital visits for the first time. I was nervous, but I prayed a lot before I went, and I was doing okay. But on my way to the second hospital, I prayed again that God would use me to represent Him to all the sick people, giving comfort, etc.

Right in front of the hospital was a crosswalk with a traffic light. As I stood at the corner I kept praying, starting to cross, even though the light was red. I mean, I was in a hurry trying to get to all those sick people!

Right in the middle of the street I heard, “So you want to represent Me, and you can’t even make it across the street without breaking the law?”

I was so shocked by this, I said the most spiritual thing I could think of, “Oops.”

God uses lots of things to talk to us. But actually hearing from God isn’t so much a matter of if he’s talking, but rather, whether we’re listening.

Hearing from God is a LEARNED SKILL.

Source: “How to Hear from God” by Karen Wolff

Spiritual Shortsightedness…..“Once when Jacob was cooking some stew, Esau came in from the open country, famished. He said to Jacob, “Quick, let me have some of that red stew! I’m famished!” (That is why he was also called Edom.) Jacob replied, “First sell me your birthright.” Look, I am about to die,” Esau said. “What good is the birthright to me?” But Jacob said, “Swear to me first.” So he swore an oath to him, selling his birthright to Jacob. Then Jacob gave Esau some bread and some lentil stew. He ate and drank, and then got up and left. So Esau despised his birthright.” ” Genesis 25:29-34

Esau sold his birthright for a bowl of stew. He was so focused on his stomach’s immediate needs that he ignored the future blessings meant for a first-born son: authority over the family and a double portion of his father’s wealth. Esau’s foolishness is a lesson for us to avoid spiritual shortsightedness. We, too, can be tempted to think of today’s needs at the expense of future blessing.

God created us with legitimate appetites for food, sleep, pleasure, and intimacy. We tend to think if a little of something is good, then more will be better. But the Lord knows that too much of anything is detrimental to our body, mind, and spirit. That’s why Galatians 5:22-23 lists self-control as spiritual fruit. God Himself gives us the strength and wisdom to remain within the boundaries He’s set for these desires.

When we’re spiritually shortsighted, we ignore the Spirit’s promptings and allow our appetites to rule us. Believers cannot afford to live according to what feels right or looks good. Focusing on immediate gratification will yield only temporary fulfillment. Lasting contentment is the result of pleasing God instead of self.

You can probably think of at least one temptation that Satan tells you is necessary or deserved. Watch out. That’s your “Bowl of Stew.” Neglecting your spiritual well-being and losing a future blessing aren’t worth getting a taste of that temptation. Keep resisting. That bowl of stew will never compare with your birthright as a child of God.

Source: “Spiritual Shortsightedness” from In Touch Daily Devotional by Dr. Charles Stanley

This is a thought provoking read about how it is in this world by a very candid man. This is an absolutely incredible interview with Rick Warren, author of “Purpose Driven Life”. His wife now has cancer, and he now has “wealth” from the book sales. In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said: “People ask me, “What is the purpose of life?” And I respond: In a nutshell, LIFE is preparation for ETERNITY. We were made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.

One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body - but not the end of me. I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act – the dress rehearsal.

God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity. We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn’t going to make sense. Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you’re just coming out of one, or you’re getting ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort. God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy. We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that’s not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.

This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest with my wife, Kay, getting cancer. I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don’t believe that anymore. Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it’s kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.

No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for. You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems. If you focus on your problems, you’re going into self-centeredness, “which is my problem, my issues, my pain.”

But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others. We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her. It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.

You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life. Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy. It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don’t think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease. So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72.

First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases. Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church. Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation. Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.

We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for Possessions? Popularity? Am I going to be driven by Pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God’s PURPOSES (for my life)? When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don’t get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn’t put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He’s more interested in what I am than what I do. That’s why we’re called human beings, not human doings.

Happy moments, PRAISE GOD; Difficult moments, SEEK GOD; Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD; Painful moments, TRUST GOD; Every moment, THANK GOD.

Source: “An Email to Consider” from Daily Blessings

As we approach the final quarter of the year here’s a little GOAL-SETTING BOOST on accomplishing the rest of the GOALS you have set for this year, before 2007 becomes history. Here’s Zig Ziglar’s 10-step formula to achieving your goals:

1. Make the commitment to reach your goal. “One person with a commitment is worth a hundred who only have an interest.” Mary Crowley.

2. Commit yourself to detailed accountability. Record your progress toward your goals every night, and list the six most important things you need to do the next day. Daily discipline is the key to reaching your goals.

3. Build your life on a sold foundation of honesty, character, integrity, trust, love, and loyalty. This foundation will give you an honest shot at reaching any goal you have set properly.

4. Break your intermediate and long-range goals into increments.

5. Be prepared to change. You can’t control the weather, inflation, interest rates, Wall Street, etc. Change your decision to move toward a goal carefully–but be willing to change your direction to get there as conditions and circumstances demand.

6. Share your “give-up” goals (i.e., give up smoking, being rude, procrastinating, being late, eating too much, etc.) with many people. Chances are excellent they’re going to encourage you.

7. Become a team player. Remember: You can have everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.

8. See the reaching. In your imagination see yourself receiving that diploma, getting that job or promotion, making that speech, moving into the home of your dreams, achieving that weight-loss goal, etc.

9. Each time you reach a goal your confidence will grow so that you can do bigger and better things. After accomplishing any goal, record it in your journal, Weekly Planner or Palm Pilot.

10. Remember, what you get by reaching your destination isn’t nearly as important as what you become by reaching your goals –what you will become is the winner you were born to be!