Three Key Steps If You Want To Be Happy…

November 14, 2009 at 3:37 am (Contentment, Happiness, Life, Success, Thoughts)

1. Let go

I remember feeling physically lighter the first time I succeeded in really letting go of the things that were making me unhappy. Letting go is not easy but for me this is the key secret of being happy most of the time. There are five areas in which I am learning to let go:

  • Expectations: The single most important step on my journey to happiness was learning to let go of expectations. Expectations – of ourselves and other people – set us up for disappointment, frustration and misery. Freeing yourself and the people you love from the burden of expectations is one of the best things you’ll ever do for yourself.
  • Outcomes: Besides releasing expectations of people, learning to go with the flow by detaching from desired outcomes is also useful in achieving a happy medium. As a task-oriented person who pays attention to detail, this was challenging but worthwhile because I’m more able to take life as it comes these days.
  • Possessions: The third thing I learnt to let go of was our need to possess. Thinking that we own things makes us susceptible to the fear of loss, and a life lived in fear is not a happy one. My aim now is to be able to store all my essential worldly possessions in just one suitcase.
  • Approval: I’m now working on letting go of the need for the approval of others. Many of us care too much what others think. Although I’ve pared down the list of those whose opinions matter to me, I find this list of about ten people still too long. I’m guessing the ideal number for this list is one – me. Or maybe even that is too much because…
  • Self: Another thing I’m learning to let go of is myself: my self-importance, needs, wants, hurts, even thoughts. While I am nowhere near the level of detachment and stillness that would make me a saint or buddha, I am slowly learning to get over it instead of dwelling on things.

2. Take control

This sounds like a contradiction of the first step, which is letting go. The difference is that we can let go of the things we cannot control, while taking charge of the things we can. Here are four main areas I worked on that added up to an overall feeling of joy, or at least long-term contentment.

3. Practise gratitude

It is impossible to be grateful and unhappy at the same time. So one of the easiest ways to be happy is to be grateful. While letting go and taking control involve work and time, being grateful can happen in the space of a single thought. Here are three ways to practise gratitude:

  • Journal: Probably the second best thing I did on my path to happiness was to start a gratitude journal. Write down five things you are grateful for each day, either at the end of the day or first thing the next morning. You can repeat points, since you’ll be grateful for your biggest blessings on many days.
  • Carpe diem: An attitude that helped me to be grateful everyday was living like you’ll die tomorrow. Thinking like this helps you to make the most of each day realising this could be your last chance, and then the happy days start piling up in a virtuous circle – you’re happy to be living, and your way of living makes you happy.
  • Judge not: As I gained some perspective in life (largely through growing older!) I came to see that ‘good’ and ‘bad’ are illusions. Things will happen in life – accidents, deaths, poor health, separations. You’ll be much happier when you stop judging these things as good or bad, but accept that things just are. Be grateful for the experience and smile because it happened.

Source: JoyfulDays.Com

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Guidance for the Young…

November 14, 2009 at 1:09 am (Christian, Encouragement, God's Promises, Life, Qoutes, Thoughts, Trust, Wisdom)

Proverbs 3 

1 My son, do not forget my law,

    But let your heart keep my commands;
       2 For length of days and long life
      And peace they will add to you.
       3 Let not mercy and truth forsake you;
      Bind them around your neck,
      Write them on the tablet of your heart,
       4 And so find favor and high esteem
      In the sight of God and man.
       5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
      And lean not on your own understanding;
       6 In all your ways acknowledge Him,
      And He shall direct  your paths.
       7 Do not be wise in your own eyes;
      Fear the LORD and depart from evil.
       8 It will be health to your flesh,
      And strength to your bones.
       9 Honor the LORD with your possessions,
      And with the firstfruits of all your increase;
       10 So your barns will be filled with plenty,
      And your vats will overflow with new wine.
       11 My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD,
      Nor detest His correction;
       12 For whom the LORD loves He corrects,
      Just as a father the son in whom he delights.
       13 Happy is the man who finds wisdom,
      And the man who gains understanding;
       14 For her proceeds are better than the profits of silver,
      And her gain than fine gold.
       15 She is more precious than rubies,
      And all the things you may desire cannot compare with her.
       16 Length of days is in her right hand,
      In her left hand riches and honor.
       17 Her ways are ways of pleasantness,
      And all her paths are peace.
       18 She is a tree of life to those who take hold of her,
      And happy are all who retain her.
       19 The LORD by wisdom founded the earth;
      By understanding He established the heavens;
       20 By His knowledge the depths were broken up,
      And clouds drop down the dew.
       21 My son, let them not depart from your eyes—
      Keep sound wisdom and discretion;
       22 So they will be life to your soul
      And grace to your neck.
       23 Then you will walk safely in your way,
      And your foot will not stumble.
       24 When you lie down, you will not be afraid;
      Yes, you will lie down and your sleep will be sweet.
       25 Do not be afraid of sudden terror,
      Nor of trouble from the wicked when it comes;
       26 For the LORD will be your confidence,
      And will keep your foot from being caught.
       27 Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due,
      When it is in the power of your hand to do so.
       28 Do not say to your neighbor,

      “ Go, and come back,
      And tomorrow I will give it,”
      When you have it with you.
       29 Do not devise evil against your neighbor,
      For he dwells by you for safety’s sake.
       30 Do not strive with a man without cause,
      If he has done you no harm.
       31 Do not envy the oppressor,
      And choose none of his ways;
       32 For the perverse person is an abomination to the LORD,
      But His secret counsel is with the upright.
       33 The curse of the LORD is on the house of the wicked,
      But He blesses the home of the just.
       34 Surely He scorns the scornful,
      But gives grace to the humble.
       35 The wise shall inherit glory,
      But shame shall be the legacy of fools.

 

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“It is better to live naked in truth than clothed in fantasy.” ~Brennan Manning

“If you have comprehended God, you have not. God is always greater because… He is God.” ~Thomas Aquinas

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

– Unknown author

“Don’t dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer.”~ Denis Waitley

The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire not things we fear.” ~ Brian Tracy

“Remember, happiness doesn’t depend upon who you are or what you have, it depends solely upon what you think.”~ Dale Carnegie

 

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